Ok let me set this up for you best I can. Wolverine has a son! A have Japanese bisexual son! (it totally canon!) And he hates his father (how original) Anyway after the skrull invasion Norman Osborn (former green goblin full time crazy sociopath) somehow becomes in control and leader of the Avengers (captain America and the gang, I'm assuming you know them) HE thus replaces the real avengers with people he can trust (Venom as Spiderman, Bullseye as Hawkeye, Daken "wolverines son" as Wolverine and some other people I don't care about XD) What happened is after wolverine 74 it became Dark Wolverine and started focusing on his son working for Norman, at the end of the issue the Fantastic Four crash Norma's party and are all like "YOUS DOING BAD STUFFS!" And that's where my story starts
"Perfect, now stop." A long white hand with gleaming green nails came from behind Ben's back and gave him a gentle touch. At this Ben started turning a light gray that spread to the other three until they were all stone statues. "Lovely. Now we can talk." The hand dipped down behind the statues and the owner walked out from behind them. A few glasses were heard shattering along with many gasps and a multitude of whispers.
The owner to the hand had ivory white skin, glimmering green eyes, emerald hair short and gelled to look as though green waves were rolling over their head. They wore an elaborate dress drenched in jewels and hand stitched silk embroidery with matching 5in heels. Five-inch heels are always very important; you'll find this out later in the story. There were a few more mummers before the new 'guest' finally spoke. "That's right birches, I'ma man! Take a good look at it because you know none of ya'll could eva looks this good! And snap *snap*." (le pose)
"I think you're take'en it a little too far doll *splash*." The pretty man turned toward the voice to see that it was a little girl, no more than 5, in Victorian style black dress swimming in the punch bowl. Her long blond curly hair dragged over the table as she reached out to get a cracker.
"Mom?" The crowed repeated almost as if on cue. The pretty man laughed, clearly enjoying the situation.
"Ya I know. Its weird ain't it? But fer cereal she's my mom. One of three," he held up fingers to better elaborate. "Hey! Don't think that! Don't think that! Don't-Aw you thought it! You sick bastards. In fact, I don't think you even need to be here anymore," and with that he clapped his hands and the room went still. No one spoke, no one moved, no one breathed. Time had stopped for the majority of people in the room. The only ones that remanded cognitive were, Norman, his Dark Avengers, that girl in the punch bowl, and the pretty guy. "Much better, now we can talk." And with that he "slide" somehow, over to Mr. Osborn. (that's right, he got magical sliddy powers. Ain't yous the jealousness) Without warning he grabbed Norman's hand and shook it vigorously. "Hi, my name's Pendent Green. Green really isn't my last name but most people are all like, 'You need to have a last name in case like
happens' and all that so I just picked something. BTW do you still have the Goblin costume around? Cause I could tots sell that on ebay." A bewildered Mr. Osborn quickly pulled his hand away in what can only be described as pure horror.
"Who the hell are you?" Then from over by the punch bowl they hear, "HE's Bad! He's bad! Come on! OW!"
"Oh how dare you!" He quickly let go of Norman and headed over toward the punch bowl. "Michael Jackson just died you ho!"
"He did not just die! He died, like, 3 weeks ago
I'm not sure
.I can't count
T-T". Then from across the room they heard a scream. It was Venom (posing as Spiderman) trying to push a slightly smaller child than the one in the punch bowl, off his leg, who appeared to be inhaling him.
"Abigail dear get that out of your mouth, you don't know where it's been."
"But *slurp* Papa, he taste like black licorice."
"AHH! Why are you guys just standing there! Help get this little freak off me!" As soon as he said those words the girl glared at him and growled, like she had swallowed a lion, which shut him up right quick.
"Dearest come here and stop tormenting the poor parasite. Where's your sister?" She gave Venom a quick scowl before hoping off him and heading towards her father, her long black hair seeming to melt into her dress as she did so.
"I'm not sure. She mentioned something about taking the scenic route." Just then the ground between the girl and her father started to bubble up, like a small volcano was forming, and out it spat yet another young girl, this one looking more around 12, with hair, skin, and eyes to match her fathers.
"I conquered Iceland!" She announced as she dug the rest of her self out of the small crater she had come from. "Ou! Cookies! Hi grandma *munchmunch*
you know technically I'm your mother to. You were all made at the same time ya know."
"Eh hm, ou brownies! *munchmunch*" was the new girls only response.
..Pendent my dear I do think your daughters retarded. Hey! Don't be touching my punch!" She said as she slapped the girl's hand away from the bowl. "You'll interrupt my marinating process and then I won't be all lemony fresh," she spat a bit of the lemonade up like she was a fountain for she thought it would add emphasis.
"Wonderful," Pendent said with a smile to himself, "now all we need is-" from across the room came the flush of a toilet and a young woman wearing a card themed dress came out of the girl's bathroom *awkward silence awkward silence*
..what? Worm tunnel's a bitch on my stomach."
Meanwhile, Venom was tending to his bitten leg, as only Venom can, the others were looking to one another in perplexed confusion, and Norman was livid with rage.
"What are you all standing around for?! Get these crashers outta here!" Norman yelled as his anger boiled over. The imposters quickly obeyed.
"Finally," the 'alleged' Hawkeye sighed as he approached the pretty man, drawing an arrow as he did so. The intruder just stood there and smiled, coolly.
"Emerald my dear."
"Hmm? Des Papa?" She muttered through a packed mouth, a few morsels falling as she spoke.
"Darling this man wishes to hurt me. I think you should hurt him first *eyebrow move thing*"
"O-tay!" And with a quick gulp she leapt from where she stood to the space between her father and Hawkeye. A manic grin slid across her lips as she rose from her stance.
"This should be fun."
"Look I'm not in the child battery business but I'm only gonna say this once, move outta the way kid," he loaded his arrow as he warned her.
"Don't give her a warning just shoot her!" was what Norman shouted from the sidelines just before Pendent made a motion like a slap in his direction and the yelling mouth disappeared. Furiously Norman clawed at the skin that had once been his mouth trying to regain his speech through futile grunts.
"One of you might want to help him. Now then my darling, please get ride of this pest," and with that she lunged forward before Hawkeye could even think about firing his arrow. She landed on his shoulders, her face looking down at his, "Hello," was all she said before he fired at her again, missing but only narrowly. She was standing behind him now. He turned quickly to face her, arrow ready, pointed right between her eyes.
"So, how many of you are there?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh I think you know what I mean." She smiles wide, as if she's just found a penny. "I know you know, I can see your string trembling," And indeed it was. So, how many are there?" *THWANG* went the arrow as it released but she was already gone when it reached where she had been. She landed her hands on his shoulders and looked down at him. "Is there one?" Another arrow, but she was at his side. "Are there 2?" A small knife this time, but she was at his other side. "Are there 3?" Again with the arrows but now she was in front of him. "4? Are there 4? I think there's 4." Many arrows this time and with great force, but not from the crossbow, from his hand. This time she stayed still, until the arrows were right in front of her face then she jumped over them with expert skill and her feet landed on her attackers' chest. Her hands grabbed his wrists and she hoisted her self up so she was right in his face. "4 people in one body, it must be crowed in there." That was it. That was the last crack that made the marble crumble. His eyes grew so wide his pupils almost disappeared. Again she smiled but this time it was like she'd seen some animal that had gotten run over, and like it. He lunged his head at her and she lazily dodged. "One!" She yelled and carved a scratch into his arm as he tried to throw some more knives at her. "Two!" She yelled and carved the number into the side of his face as she jumped over him in another doge. "3!" On his calf through his cloths. "4!" On his shoulder. She kept counting and carving the numbers into him with her nails and he kept trying to hit her with anything he could get his hands on in dire unsucsess. Suddenly all was still, the Hawkeye imposter kneeling there, covered in bleeding numbers, his head hanging low his eyes wide, glassy, and empty. Her hands lay clenched around his shoulders which supported her body that was pointed straight upward like the arrows he had just been shooting, and in this moment there is silence, until her father broke it by singing, with a little giggle, "1,2,3,4 tell me that you love me more. Sleepless long nights, that was what my youth was for," then the girl in the punch picked it up with this.
"Old teenage hope alive at your door," then all the crashers started singing "Left you with nothing but they want some more!" But then from outside they were interrupted with what sorta sounded like a bunch of drunks screaming while they were being blended together in giant blender, and they were singing, "OH! Oh oh! You're changing your heart! Oh oh oh! You know who you are! OOOOUUUUU! WHO YOU ARE! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!" But just as the chorus was picking up Pendent manifested a decorative emerald staff with an oval gem that was as big as a hand at the top. He pounded the staff to the ground and great emerald green (he likes that color XD) burst of energy came from it. Not enough to really hurt anything, just enough to make the wind blow and get peoples attention.
"Damn zombies! Why they always gotta follow us around?" He polished the giant gem as he said this with the back of the sleeve.
"No one else listens to them, be nice," the girl in the punch bowl, responded as she lazily kicked out her one leg and admired it.
"Ah well doesn't matter now anyway, she's here. Dearest finish him off will you?"
"OK! Say night night peoples" She pushed off with her arms and brought her feet forward so they hit her victim squarely in the head. The force of the blow propelled his body across the room and into the wall that collapsed upon him on impact. Emerald landed and did a few flips over to the Fantastic four statues where she proceed to land ontop of Ben's back were she rested looking eagerly at her father who had been busy this whole time. His one hand was flat and open while the other move around it. By doing this water seemed to be slowly forming in the area just above his open hand. The water grew and grew and as it did so it began to take the shape of a girl. When this image was most clear he took his open palm to the ground a gently slid the girl off onto the floor of which she floating just a few inches above. Her hair was blue and braded to stand straight up, at the ends of the ends of the braids were spirals made of the hair that all pointed in the same direction. She wore a red dress and red-heeled boots. When she opened her eyes she fell to the ground. Oddly enough her eyes had no white and no iris. They were blue and fluid as if they themselves were made of water.
"Everyone meet the water priestess, water priestess everyone."
"Dude why didn't you get the good psychic?!" Furiously the persists confronted the punch bowl.
"Oh what and I'm not a good physic?!"
"Dude you're the water chick! What are you gonna do, get him wet?" Hysterical laughter followed from Emerald.
"WHAHAHAH! Dude! I get it! HAHA!" and in her hysteria she slipped off her perch and fell to the floor. Pendent sighed with exhaustion before feeling a small tug on his dress. It was Abigail, his littlest.
"Papa, I want up."
"OK hon," and he gently cradled her in his one arm and pointed his staff at the Prissiest. "Be, just start it up, Em, do your thing and Spade...Spade where are you?" He then saw her by one of the frozen gust apparently trying to flirt.
"No seriously I can lift it over my head, ya wanna see?"
"EH! WHA? I didn't do it! Who exploded?"
And to his least favorite daughter he replied with a, "*le sigh* Just be ready if something, like, happens. Em?"
"Way ahead of you daddy!" She was on Daken, their target, with her hands on his shoulders as she had done with Hawkeye before."
"My dear how many times must I tell you people are not balance beams."
"For cereal? When this happen?" She said this while doing a summersault in the air to avoid Daken form stabbing her, with his hand, cause his got claws, and their cool. Ok I'm gonna stop that now.
"You two just do your thing," he pointed his staff at both Emerald and the pretest who was apparently conjuring some water between her hands."
"It's ok daddy, I still love you," said little Abigail as she patted her fathers head.
"Suck up," Emerald said as she jumped down from her perch and landed directly in front of Danken. "HEllo"
"I want you to know you're extremely valuable and that's why we're doing this," and with that she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Daken just started at her for a few moments, but then...
"You crazy bitch," his claws were out and coming straight toward the girl, but then, they stopped. He clearly hadn't stopped for you could see him desperately trying to make his arm move forward to impale the girl but the arm would not budge. After a few moments of this Emerald opened her eyes, exhaled and slowly motioned her arms downward. As she did this it was as if the sound of a bell was heard, and when that was heard the prettiest again began to float water engulfing her in a perfect opal. Then with a smile Emerald flicked Dakens suspended wrist and his arm was released.
" Liar." Daken looked at her with a puzzled expression still nursing his arm. "Li~ar" She titled her head a little and said it again. "Liar liar you're a liar!" She giggled at herself and began to sway as if she was hearing music. "Lie lie liar! You're not real! You wish you were pretty but you're not so you have to pretend to be! Heheh!" Now Daken was becoming annoyed for he understood the context of her jests. "Liar"
"I said be quite!" He forgot the numbness of his arm and reveled his claws; "You don't want to mess with me girly."
"But you're just a cheap imitation of something better, how much trouble could you actually be?" And with that he snapped. He lunged toward her and as in her last fight she was gone before the blow even reached her.
"Unobservant liar," she said from behind him. He turned to strike again but again she was already gone."Liar!"
"It's not a lie!" Suddenly the slashing stopped for she was holding onto his arms.
"Dear boy when lies become truth not even delusion can save you." This only set to anger Daken into a fit of rage, and thus the fight continued." The few who were left unfroze were watching the fight with a mixture of perplexity and anguish. They wished not to interfere for they had seen what had happened to their employer and the imitation Hawkeye. Pendent and his dears however where having a wonderful time watching the fight so much so that he had gotten himself a plate of food and was mockingly trying to "chat up" Mr. Osborn. Daken stood their panting hard. The girl however had nary broken a sweat, and for godshake she was still smiling! Like she had at the beginning of the fight she again inhaled deeply, but this time she let it out in a rush." LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR," and on it went, and Daken breath began to get heaver and more raged each time she said it.
"SHUT UP!" he lunged toward her and she did not move. She did however wave at him and say
"Buh bye!" and with that waster from the priestess incased him in a floating spiral. (OF DOOM! lol ir nuts)
"And he's totally paralyzed?" Pendent asked as he approached his prize.
"Yes. He is at my will," the persist now answered him in an etherialith voice.
"But he's still completely concious?" He gently placed a hand on the spiral, moving his fingers through it slowly (cause it is just water ya know)
"Yes, also by my will at your request." Pendent turned to Emerald his favorite, and gave a smirk. She smiled back, although she was always smiling.
"Wonderous. Now take that gouty costume off I want to see his face," and with a few fluid movements of her arms his costume dropped out of the spiral and to the floor. A "HOT DAMN!" immediately followed from the punch bowl in which the girl had leapt from and was now standing in front of the spiral, gazing in aww, her mouth agape slightly. She then sprung atop her unsuspecting son.
"Have I ever told you you is sooo meh's favorites of all the peoples I've made? Cause you is."
"How many peps have you made?"
"Like...5...maybe...doesn't matter! You know why? Cause you're my fav! <3<3<3"
"You can't have him"
"I HATE YOU YOU NO GOOD LITTLE %&*%#&*%#&@%#! *strangles* I made you I can unmakes you just as easily! TINY ANNOYING FANGIRLS ASSEMBLE!" She leapt from him and took a crane stance upon the floor (like that was going do anything ) Instantly 3 tiny girls looking very similar to her appeared. They all wore the same dress and all had blond hair but in slightly different shades. The one that held two ornate crosses like weapons had her wheat colored hair pulled into a ponytail. The other had almost bleached blond hair that had a small bun on the top of her head like you would see on Chinese aristocrats, and she was sucking on a loli pop. The other two turned to her as soon as they heard her suckling. "
.dude how are we gonna look intimidating with you eating a loli pop?"
" *pop* How intimidating do you think we are? We look 5! And we're blonds!"
..well it's not like that's my fault
" Then, the 3rd girl who had been silent noticed the buffet table.
"Ou! Cookies!" *walks over to table and munch munch munch* Pendent just did a face palm and sighed "oy vey" (we get some Hebrew up in here! Give up for God's chosen people! What? What you mean that's racist? I don't get it
"You guys always do this to me! *stomp foots*" This stopped the two from arguing and the one eating long enough for them to say in unison, "Do what?"
"Embarrass me! You know sometimes I wanna go reek my own havoc without your help! *Hmpt!*
"But we just wanna make sure you do it right dear," She had hoped up to his shoulder now and was holding his face in her hands.
"I'm a grown man mother. I don't need help!"
"You're like 5,"
"You're 5!" *argueningness commences*By now the other 2 girls had given up and were getting themselves to the buffet table. Everyone in the room could see this was going nowhere fast, probably even the frozen people. Luckily Emeralds a clever thing, and what a thing she is. She whistled with her finger to get their attention then,
"Hey Grandmama's, looky what I got *holds yaoi book up for all to see* The 3 girls reaction "Ouuu, shiny *drooling*
"Go get it why don't ya?" and with that she tossed it through, and out the window.
*awkward pause followed by fangirl screams of terror* And they immediately leapt out the window after it *insert funny sound effects here ^0^*
"Ah my dearest!" And he swept his daughter into an embrace that took her from the floor and turned her round and round in a circle. " You truly know how to make me happy don't you?" To this se just giggled, and smiled yet even more. Thank you my doll," and with that he gave her a little tap on the head and went to go ogle over his prize.
"Papa," Emerald was tugging on her father's sleeve, for she wanted something.
"What is it my angel?" He answered with out taking his eyes off his prize.
"Since there is so much potential here, it would be a shame to let it go to waste, her eyes flickered as she glanced at the fake avengers around the room and her father smiled to himself.
"Ah you little minx, can't get enough of other people can you?" She nodded eagerly and tried to look even cuter. "I don't see the harm, we've already done a fair amount of damage here, and my spoils have been collected and secured," he stuck his hand through the water and stroked Daken's cheek tenderly "Knock your self out." The wicked smile returned and her pupils elongated into a slit. She turned to the fake avengers and her mouth began to water. They could have never comprehended what she was going to do next. She lunged at Ares, and he whacked her one head with his huge fist. He thought he'd stopped her but this was disproven when she propelled his own hand into his face, dazing him severely but not knocking him out. She pulled herself on to his back and bit into his neck, as she did you could clearly see that all of her canine teeth and elongated into fangs. She drank from him, greedily; smear blood all over her face and dripping it onto the floor in the process.
Now I know what you're thinking, 'OMG! THRY IST EINEN VAMPIRES *onnoes*' But you're wrong. They are in fact not Vampires, they are however related to vampires, but this does not make them vampires. Trust me just keep reading
P.S I looket the 4th wall and laugh!
Ares dropped to the floor and cause a great clatter, and Emerald landed adjacent to him wiping blood off her face with both arms. She walked a little ways, going nowhere in particular, and staggering slightly, as if she had drunk too much. She then stooped for no reason and closed her eyes. She swayed back and forth and booed her head like she was dancing to a song. She stopped that suddenly and shirked, her whole body had tensed. Her muscles flexed and grew and her body contorted in sickening ways. Then, in a moment, it was over. Her muscles hadn't grew exceptionally large, but they had at least doubled in size
(Me again. Ok now you get it? They're DNA dopers. They drink you blood or whatever and their DNA analyzes the new stuff and picks useful chunks outta it. Now you know *GI JOE*! Back to story)
The few conscious gaped when they realized what had just happed, except Norman cause he still doesn't have a mouth, and Daken cause he parlayed. I think one of the plants was even gapping though.
She smiled her twisted smile and turned to the reaming few.